Illness
by supervivi
Summary: How Kimimaro really got sick. Featuring Hayate. No pairings.


_**Illness**_

By Londondaime

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**Rated:** T for uh. Just cause.

**Pairings: **None.

**Timeline:** Pre-Naruto, but not by much.

**Spoilers:** Up to episode 128 or chapter 217.

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

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_Illness_

The third Hokage of the Hidden Village of the Leaf sifted through large hills (they had been reduced from mountains last week) of paperwork on his funky, weirdly shaped desk of Hokagedom. The sun shined in from the windows behind him. One particularly devilish ray reflected off of the metal doorknob and right into his eye. _Man, I wish I had sunglasses. _Sandaime awaited the arrival of a certain ninja, one by the named of Gekkou Hayate. A three hour late Gekkou Hayate. It was not like him to be tardy. With the exception of Kakashi, none of the high-ranking leaf ninja were habitually late.

When Hayate finally came in, the Hokage had already relocated all of the papers on his desk… to different spots on his desk. He was pretending to do work, you see.

"Hokage-sama!" –cough cough- "I, uh, sorry I'm…" –cough cough- "…late." The younger man grasped his own throat in his hand, as if having difficulty breathing. He was bent over slightly, head down but eyes up.

"Are you all right, Hayate-kun?"

"Just a slight bug, I think…" –cough cough- "…Hokage-sama."

"Slight, you say. Maybe you should have one of the medicnins look at you. Can you still take this mission?"

"Yes sir." –cough cough- "Don't worry about me."

-oOo-

Hayate's mission required a solo, four-day long journey into the Wind Country followed by the assassination of a rich, swindling merchant. Perhaps he _should_ have stayed in Konoha and let a healthier nin take the job but he doubted he could last another day teaching projectile classes with _Maito Gai_. The leaf nin paused for dinner, seated loftily between two large branches of an elderly tree. Hayate had already crossed into the Wind Country but was only on its edge. In another hour or so, his path would encounter a vast, heartless desert.

His meal was abruptly ended by the passing of a lone traveler, dressed in a loose, white robe adorned by a large purple bow. It looked a bit like a pretzel. The man walked quietly at a moderate pace but did not bother to conceal his presence. Although Hayate himself was well hidden, the stranger's eyes sought him out immediately. He stopped under Hayate's position and looked up.

"Hello."

Hayate examined the man carefully. _No visible weapons; no evident affiliation or past affiliation with any ninja village. Those sandals though…_Cautiously Hayate dropped from the tree, unfinished maguro in hand. He set down his food and assumed a casual appearing yet basic stance. _Just in case_.

The stranger tucked a strand of hair behind an ear. His locks were pure white, though his face showed no sign of age. He actually appeared quite young. Perhaps younger than Hayate. A three-spoked mark of some sort was present on his upper chest. He tilted his head slightly while peering at the leaf nin; his body was totally relaxed and open. "I'm looking for a man from the Waterfall Village. Tall. Greenish-grey hair. Have you seen him?"

"Can't say I have." Hayate suppressed the urge to cough. _Cannot show any weakness. Never._

"Oh. All right. Well, thank you." The stranger nodded slightly, more to himself than to Hayate. He sighed quietly and turned his gaze back towards the path.

"Uh huh. So uh, I'd…" –gurk- "…better get going," Hayate said. While the white-haired man seemingly posed no threat, something about him prompted Hayate to leave. It might have been his overly emo eyes, the odd brand on his chest, or that ridiculous plum bow. My bets are on the bow.

Kimimaro watched the other ninja retreat into the forest. Within seconds, Hayate was no longer in sight. The sound nin glanced at the tree the other ninja had perched. A small wooden box of sushi lay forgotten at the plant's base. _Well, the next town _is _five hours away and this sure as hell beats centipede_.

-oOo-

The first pseudo-kage of the Hidden Village of Sound sifted through large hills (they had been reduced from mountains last week) of paperwork on his black, evilly shaped desk of pseudo-kagedom. There were no windows behind him for the sun to pierce. Evil villains were not allowed luxuries like bright, luminous windows or comfortable chairs (his was made of stone). Instead, numerous dead snakes floated creepily in liquid-filled columns. Orochimaru awaited the arrival of a certain ninja, one by the named of Kaguya Kimimaro. A one-day late Kaguya Kimimaro. It was not like him to be tardy. With the exception of Tayuya, none of the high-ranking sound ninja were habitually late.

When Kimimaro finally showed up, Orochimaru had already orded his collection of _Pedophiles Weekly_ by date, downloaded and watched the newest episode of _Queer as Folk_, and flossed his teeth three times.

"Orochimaru-sama!" –cough cough- "Please forgive my unpunctuality."

His explanation was delayed by the arrival of Kabuto. Stepping into the cold, dark room, Kabuto pushed his glasses up. And, yes, there was indeed to necessary Eyeglass Light Reflection of Evil. "So, you're back, Kimimaro-kun."

"Ah, yes, Kabuto-sensei…" –cough cough- "I stayed an extra day in Mizugakure because of uh—"

"Illness," Kabuto interrupted. He held a cold, dry hand to Kimimaro's forehead. Satisfied with the lack of a fever, he withdrew slightly.

"My greatest tool, momentarily struck down by sickness?" Orochimaru hissed, exasperated. He placed his copy of _Icha Icha Paradise 2_ open but face down on his desk and crossed his arms.

Kimimaro knitted his eyebrows together and bent over in a respectful bow. "Sorry, Orochimaru-sama. I wouldn't… normally."

"Mm. Go get some sleep. I expect a full report tomorrow morning. A very, very, full report."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama." Kimimaro gave a second, shorter bow and left the room hurriedly.

Kabuto approached his master's desk, idly glancing over immorally titled magazines and Hershey kiss wrappers. "He'll get over it soon, right Kabuto-kun?"

"Of course," the medical specialist replied. "Don't worry about him."

_The end._

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Author's Notes: And so that was how the almighty Hayate-sama saved Gaara and Lee and doomed Sasuke and Naruto. Thanks for reading! Just... more of my deranged ideas at play. I encourage you to review. Is it too fast? Too slow? Too... wordy? If you note any mistakes, please tell me… Also.. much thanks to LER! for pointing out my silly little error.


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